Vse je relativno:
Pesimist vidi samo temo v tunelu,
optimist vidi luč na koncu tunela,
realist vidi luči vlaka,
strojevodja pa vidi tri idiote na tirih.
Relativnost v vicih!
Re: Relativnost v vicih!
Pesimist je itak optimist, ki je začel razmišljati.
Optimist meni, da živimo v najboljšem možnem svetu. Pesimist pa se boji, da je temu res tako.
Optimist meni, da živimo v najboljšem možnem svetu. Pesimist pa se boji, da je temu res tako.
Re: Relativnost v vicih!
Iz strani http://www.drscience.com/:
Q: Why is the speed of light a measly 186,000 miles per second? Can't science do better than this?
A: Yes, you're right. It's a disgrace that light goes only a measly 186,000 miles per second, but physicists are working on the problem. There is already a prototype vehicle that goes 200,000 miles per second, but the headlights shine at only 186,000 miles per second. This is equivalent to driving down the freeway the wrong way with the headlights not only out but actually chasing you down the road. This is why so many scientists today no longer own a driver's license.
* * *
Q: If electricity travels at the speed of light, why do email messages take so long to arrive? Even when I send a message to myself, it can take several minutes before I get it.
A: Someone is obviously reading your mail. And the frightening fact is, that someone could be on another planet. You don't say how many minutes the message is delayed, but if it's less than half an hour, it could still have found its way to any one of forty five planets and asteroids within a radius of fifteen light minutes of earth. You should be flattered that they want to know what you're thinking. I remember the first time I became aware of intergalactic eavesdropping - I had been analyzing the effect of ultraviolet light on lime Jell-O. Even my notes to myself had been taken by a mysterious entity, corrected for syntax and punctuation and then put back in ALMOST the same spot.
* * *
Q: I've heard the speed of light referred to as the "universal speed limit". If this is true, who enforces it?
A: The laws of nature are much more than suggestions. Break one and you'll find out just how rigorously they're enforced. I once invented a self cleaning toaster that doubled as a coffee grinder, with a feedback loop that allowed the energy consumed by the toaster to be provided by liberated caffeine molecules. Well sir, imagine my surprise when six uniformed members of the perpetual motion police materialized in my kitchen and confiscated the whole apparatus! Breaking the sound or light barrier without prior authorization just isn't worth it. Ya do the crime, ya do the time.
* * *
Q: What would happen if the speed of light were only 60 miles per hour?
A: As we approach the speed of light, the aging process slows down. So, if the speed of light were sixty miles per hour, we would have even more people speeding, especially older people trying to stay young. As a matter of fact, physics would demand that we go faster than the speed of light. The safest thing is to drive at a steady sixty to keep time and the highway patrol off our necks. Appliances would become obsolete in this slow light world, because you would be going so fast, relatively speaking, that you'd be back before you even left. This would make business trips unnecessary and lead to economic collapse. So, to answer your question, life, if the speed of light were sixty miles per hour, would be youthful, fast, and dark.
* * *
Q: Who set the speed limit of light? Is it different in Montana?
A: Sure it is. Everything's different in Montana. Those people just don't think the way you and I do. If a Montanan wants to protest a parking ticket, he builds a bunker in a remote hillside, holes up there with a year's supply of crackers and water, and waits for someone to track him down. This sort of rugged individualism guarantees that in Montana the speed of light is a matter of personal choice. Sometimes it's slower than the speed of sound, sometimes it zips around like a teflon-tipped bullet. I've never actually been to Montana, but I hear that's what it's like. Real unpredictable.
* * *
Q: Why do objects become shorter and wider as they approach the speed of light?
A: There are two different kinds of light here, the light that fills our days and the light that fills our beers and diet sodas. The objects that become shorter and wider are those that consume too much light beer. The so-called "couch potato syndrome" could be more a side effect of gravity than of light, though the light emitted from a TV set seems to have an adverse effect on weight. TV light, or, as science calls it, "stupid light," seems to create an urge in couch potatoes to drink gallons of light beer. Why, we don't know. Stupid light contrasts with smart light, which is the intelligent radiation we get from the sun and Eveready batteries. When we approach the speed of smart light we don't get shorter and wider; we get dark, bump into things, and fall down. So, if you plan on breaking the light barrier, I advise you not to. Turn on the TV and crack a couple of cold ones. You'll be fat, but you'll be safe.
Q: Why is the speed of light a measly 186,000 miles per second? Can't science do better than this?
A: Yes, you're right. It's a disgrace that light goes only a measly 186,000 miles per second, but physicists are working on the problem. There is already a prototype vehicle that goes 200,000 miles per second, but the headlights shine at only 186,000 miles per second. This is equivalent to driving down the freeway the wrong way with the headlights not only out but actually chasing you down the road. This is why so many scientists today no longer own a driver's license.
* * *
Q: If electricity travels at the speed of light, why do email messages take so long to arrive? Even when I send a message to myself, it can take several minutes before I get it.
A: Someone is obviously reading your mail. And the frightening fact is, that someone could be on another planet. You don't say how many minutes the message is delayed, but if it's less than half an hour, it could still have found its way to any one of forty five planets and asteroids within a radius of fifteen light minutes of earth. You should be flattered that they want to know what you're thinking. I remember the first time I became aware of intergalactic eavesdropping - I had been analyzing the effect of ultraviolet light on lime Jell-O. Even my notes to myself had been taken by a mysterious entity, corrected for syntax and punctuation and then put back in ALMOST the same spot.
* * *
Q: I've heard the speed of light referred to as the "universal speed limit". If this is true, who enforces it?
A: The laws of nature are much more than suggestions. Break one and you'll find out just how rigorously they're enforced. I once invented a self cleaning toaster that doubled as a coffee grinder, with a feedback loop that allowed the energy consumed by the toaster to be provided by liberated caffeine molecules. Well sir, imagine my surprise when six uniformed members of the perpetual motion police materialized in my kitchen and confiscated the whole apparatus! Breaking the sound or light barrier without prior authorization just isn't worth it. Ya do the crime, ya do the time.
* * *
Q: What would happen if the speed of light were only 60 miles per hour?
A: As we approach the speed of light, the aging process slows down. So, if the speed of light were sixty miles per hour, we would have even more people speeding, especially older people trying to stay young. As a matter of fact, physics would demand that we go faster than the speed of light. The safest thing is to drive at a steady sixty to keep time and the highway patrol off our necks. Appliances would become obsolete in this slow light world, because you would be going so fast, relatively speaking, that you'd be back before you even left. This would make business trips unnecessary and lead to economic collapse. So, to answer your question, life, if the speed of light were sixty miles per hour, would be youthful, fast, and dark.
* * *
Q: Who set the speed limit of light? Is it different in Montana?
A: Sure it is. Everything's different in Montana. Those people just don't think the way you and I do. If a Montanan wants to protest a parking ticket, he builds a bunker in a remote hillside, holes up there with a year's supply of crackers and water, and waits for someone to track him down. This sort of rugged individualism guarantees that in Montana the speed of light is a matter of personal choice. Sometimes it's slower than the speed of sound, sometimes it zips around like a teflon-tipped bullet. I've never actually been to Montana, but I hear that's what it's like. Real unpredictable.
* * *
Q: Why do objects become shorter and wider as they approach the speed of light?
A: There are two different kinds of light here, the light that fills our days and the light that fills our beers and diet sodas. The objects that become shorter and wider are those that consume too much light beer. The so-called "couch potato syndrome" could be more a side effect of gravity than of light, though the light emitted from a TV set seems to have an adverse effect on weight. TV light, or, as science calls it, "stupid light," seems to create an urge in couch potatoes to drink gallons of light beer. Why, we don't know. Stupid light contrasts with smart light, which is the intelligent radiation we get from the sun and Eveready batteries. When we approach the speed of smart light we don't get shorter and wider; we get dark, bump into things, and fall down. So, if you plan on breaking the light barrier, I advise you not to. Turn on the TV and crack a couple of cold ones. You'll be fat, but you'll be safe.
-
ZdravaPamet
- Prispevkov: 2842
- Pridružen: 16.8.2004 19:41
Re: Relativnost v vicih!
He he, dobra.I once invented a self cleaning toaster that doubled as a coffee grinder, with a feedback loop that allowed the energy consumed by the toaster to be provided by liberated caffeine molecules. Well sir, imagine my surprise when six uniformed members of the perpetual motion police materialized in my kitchen and confiscated the whole apparatus! Breaking the sound or light barrier without prior authorization just isn't worth it. Ya do the crime, ya do the time.
Re: Relativnost v vicih!
Tale je kruta ampak resnicna:
Q: Why is the speed of light a measly 186,000 miles per second? Can't science do better than this?
Sure, just not under your laws. In Europe it can go 300,000 km per second.
Re: Relativnost v vicih!
Haha, kje ste pa te pobrali???
Re: Relativnost v vicih!
Ask Dr. Science... He knows more than you do!MAVER|CK napisal/-a:Haha, kje ste pa te pobrali???